My Anywhere But Here Blog

Before the Water Holds You

Faith in the Waiting

There are moments in life when we find ourselves waiting on something we cannot yet see.

A shift.

An answer.

A miracle.

We tell ourselves to have faith.

To trust.

To believe that something will change.

But no one really talks about

the quiet weight of standing at the edge…

before anything does.

This week, I had a conversation with a friend about suicide.

She told me she was at her wits’ end—

that she simply couldn’t cope anymore

or continue waiting for God’s answers.

She cried out on the phone,

saying His pace was not her pace.

That she felt abandoned by Him—

and by those who were not facing

a terminal end.

She said she felt ignored…

that not even God understood

the severity of what she was facing.

She asked me to name one person I knew—

in all of history—

who struggled with understanding

God’s purpose.

Or someone who came to have

earth-shattering faith…

the kind that truly believed

everything would somehow be okay.

She asked me to name someone

who could accept the uncertainty

of a terminal illness—

who chose to cling to life

instead of walking away from it.

Someone who believed

they had not been abandoned at all…

but were somehow still here

because of their faith.

I told her about Saint Peter.

And then…

I told her about me.

After about forty-five minutes,

she grew quiet.

And then she said:

“Let’s talk about this again.

I need time to process…

because you really surprised me—

believing in someone like Peter’s story.”

We agreed to talk again

every few days.

And before we hung up,

I told her:

You are not abandoned..

After feeding the crowd, Jesus Christ sends His disciples ahead of Him in a boat across the sea.

• It’s nighttime

• The wind is strong

• The waves are rough

The disciples are already struggling when, in the distance, they see someone walking on the water toward them.

At first, they’re terrified. They think it’s a ghost.

But then Jesus speaks:

“Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

✨ Peter Steps Out

This is where Saint Peter does something bold.

He calls out:

“Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you on the water.”

And Jesus simply says:

“Come.”

Peter climbs out of the boat…

and for a moment—he actually walks on water.

🌧️ When Fear Takes Over

But then something shifts.

Peter notices the wind.

He sees the waves.

And fear creeps in.

He begins to sink.

Crying out, he says:

“Lord, save me!”

Immediately, Jesus reaches out His hand and catches him.

And then gently says:

“You of little faith… why did you doubt?”

🌅 What the Story Means

This moment is less about the miracle of walking on water…

and more about what happens in the middle of faith and fear.

• Peter did step out — that matters

• Peter did walk — even if only briefly

• Peter did sink — but he wasn’t abandoned

The takeaway isn’t that Peter failed.

It’s that he trusted enough to step out…

and when he faltered, he reached out instead of giving up.

🌿 A Quiet Reflection

There are moments when life feels like that water—

Unsteady.

Uncertain.

A little overwhelming.

And still, something within us whispers,

“Step out.”

Not because the storm has calmed…

but because we’re being called beyond the safety of what we’ve always known.

Sometimes we are not yet walking on the water.

Sometimes we are still in the boat…

watching…

waiting…

wondering if the moment will ever come.

And sometimes—

even after we step out—

we feel the weight of it all.

Faith is not always found in the walking—

sometimes it is found in the waiting.

Waiting can feel still on the outside…

but inside, it is anything but still.

It is questions.

It is quiet battles.

It is holding onto something

you cannot yet see.

🌊 When the Moment Feels Too Heavy

The moment that feels unbearable is often a moment—

not a lifetime.

Feelings move.

Thoughts pass.

Storms shift.

But in the middle of it…

it can feel permanent.

Faith does not always remove the struggle.

But it gives us something to hold onto

while we walk through it.

A quiet reminder that:

There is still purpose here.

There is still breath here.

There is still something unfolding—

even if we cannot see it yet.

If you ever find yourself in that place—

where everything feels like too much—

pause before believing the final thought.

Pause before making a permanent decision

based on a temporary moment.

Reach for something outside of yourself,

even if it feels small.

A conversation.

A prayer.

A single honest sentence:

“I’m not okay right now.”

Because that sentence…

can open a door.

And sometimes,

the most powerful thing we can do—

is simply stay.

✨ A Quiet Closing Thought

Even in the moments that feel like endings,

there is often something unseen still holding you here.

Before the water holds you…

you are already being held.

Maybe you are closer than it feels.

Maybe the waiting

is not empty space—

but sacred ground.

And maybe…

even here,

in the in-between,

you are not alone.

My Anywhere But Here… even in the waiting.

______________________________________

Susan Thomas

My Anywhere But Here